2021-01-05

No one can define ourselves

By yqqlm yqqlm

“It looks good in pink. Girls should wear pink.”

“Look at Xiao Ming next door to study so late every night, why did you go to bed early?”

“Look at this child, his skin is so dark, why don’t you usually pay attention.”

So, when you buy clothes later, you will unconsciously pick a few pink pieces; Even though the efficiency is very low when I study late by myself; I put a thick powder on my face every time I go out, or wear a mask to avoid others commenting on my skin color.

From small to large, these evaluative words dominate our thoughts and gradually make us fall into a framework established by others.

These words have subtly entered our minds, affecting our every move. Although we want to break free, some invisible things bind us tightly.

So, we care more and more about the evaluation of others, and we don’t know who we are. The truest self seems to have been lost in the evaluation of others at a certain moment.

The recent program”I heard her say” seems to be in our hearts.

In the first issue, a normal-looking girl showed us her truest thoughts. She is dominated by various definitions of beauty, and in this age of looking at faces, she is dominated by many people who”three outlooks follow the five senses”.

She fell into jail, she almost paranoidly changed her appearance, and changed all the dissatisfaction of others. She used a wig to cover up the fact that her hair volume was low, and she used double eyelid stickers to cater to others’ aesthetics.

What she said is what many people have experienced or are experiencing. She used self-deprecating way and a questioning monologue to tell us that we should stay awake and find ourselves in the”magic mirror” that controls ourselves.

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Another story is a middle-aged mother questioning language violence.

She lives in a planned life. Other people’s words became the goal of her life unknowingly. Perhaps it is the closest person around, speaking in the most sincere and sincere tone of words that severely bound you.

“Should…””You shouldn’t…” Such simple imperative sentences make us regress and compromise time and time again, just for the eyes of the people around us There are disappointed gazes, but our own edges and corners are smoothed, just like many people.

So,”You shouldn’t…” The lethality of words like this is getting bigger and bigger, and the scope of influence is getting wider and wider.

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We shouldn’t be like this.

When did we get used to this language environment? When did our goals become the comfort in the eyes of others, not what we really want.

Some people said:”I don’t want to be like this, but if others don’t say this, I don’t know what to do.” Others said:”I don’t want to blindly follow other people’s evaluations, I just don’t The people around me are disappointed with me.”

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This way of thinking has existed for too long, and it is difficult for us to jump out of this cycle.

However, we cannot always compromise, we cannot always live in the frame of other people’s paintings. We are independent individuals, we have our own thinking, we have our own life, and we have the right to choose.

The branches that have been hurt by other people’s evaluations should not lose their vitality, but should grow more tenaciously and live as they should be.

Be sober and don’t fall into the definition of others. I am me, not the other one.

Other people’s evaluations can be listened to but not blindly followed. They can be adopted selectively but not coerced by it. Don’t let others’ words become sharp swords, flatten your own edges and corners, and flatten your own uniqueness.

If you are still confused in the framework set by others, then try to pay attention to yourself, pay attention to your original uniqueness, stay sober, and make the right choice for every sentence.

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Hopefully, one day, you will find that girls don’t have to wear pink; the study that doesn’t stay up late is actually more suitable for you; a healthy skin tone is also a precious gift from God.

Taking a firm step, starting from questioning the unreasonable prejudices of others, starting from the search for the truest self. Slowly you will find that being undefined by others is a very comfortable and worthy effort.

Only you can define yourself. No one can control you.

Source:Yu Youth

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