Should parents tell their children, “The family is not rich”?
Chinanews client, Beijing, February 6th (Reporter Ren Siyu) I believe many people had a dream when they were young:
When you wake up, your parents smile and say to you: “Baby, In fact, our family is very rich. We used to lie to you.”
It’s just that we haven’t waited until now. And after years of social experience, we finally began to accept reality.
Recently, the new topic of “Qihua Shuo” has caused a heated discussion on the Internet-“Should parents tell their children that the family is not rich”. Many people say that this topic brings back memories of their childhood .
“Just relax “Grow up”
Before the start of this debate, the opinions on both “should tell” and “should not tell” support the numbers evenly.
50 parents and 50 children came to the auditorium. What is interesting is that when Ma Dong asked the parents, only one parent raised his hand and thought that “should not tell”. Most parents felt that “Tell”;
When asked about the children, only a few children think that “should tell”, most people choose “should not tell”, and Li Xan ridiculed: “You like to live in a dream Yes.”
Subsequently, the two sides fought for several rounds. The positive side believes that parents should tell that it is better to let their children know the truth as soon as possible, rather than a false pretense; the negative side believes that it is best not to tell, and should not put pressure on children who grow up carefree.
For example, “Tieling Petroleum Princess” Zhang Daling thinks that you should not tell your children directly. One of the reasons is because “When you tell your children that you are not rich, it is not pure education. , But with a catharsis of negative energy in life.”
But watching the debate is fun It is that when you are just persuaded by one side, the other side’s views immediately open up new ideas for you.
For example, the words of the debater Xi Rui hit the hearts of many viewers:
Many times, “the family is not rich” is just a complaint. But when these complaints are too much, in the eyes of the child, the child will feel that he is the cause of the parent’s lack of wealth, unintentionally making them feel owed in the family. “One to two, there is no intimacy in the family relationship, and all that is left is the pressure of calculation.”
He used a book “The Essence of Poverty” as an example. The most terrifying place of poverty not only brings people a habit, but also gives people a poor way of thinking. , Poor people tend to spend resources on instant gratification, while ignoring long-term development.
“Telling the child that his family is not wealthy does not make him work harder. It will only make him less confident, because this is narrowing his vision. Setting the life landscape for the child too early, they still Without crossing mountains, rivers and oceans, or even imagining mountains, rivers and oceans, at the age of 20, I took ordinary as the only answer in my life.”
When this topic aroused heated discussion, we also initiated In a small survey, nearly half of the people who participated in the voting of nearly 50,000 people think that they “should” tell, and another option equivalent to it is “Do you think the child can’t feel it?”
Many netizens have talked about their childhood experiences, In fact, children can perceive family environment and financial pressure at certain moments. “It’s not a question of not telling it at all. How could a poor child in the family not know it? The real problem is how to let him know with what attitude and method, and how to tell the child how to face poverty correctly.” Some netizens said.
In “The Disappearance of Childhood”, Neil Bozeman once wrote that the world of children and adults was isolated in the past, but in the video age, all the information of adults It is said that dreaming of an undisturbed childhood is an illusion.
So this is also In this debate, both the pros and the cons pointed to the point—the way of communication is very important.
Huang Zhizhong said that he was very impressed when he saw a sentence on the Internet. The most uncomfortable thing about Chinese family relationships is that they refuse to communicate in person, give silently behind their backs, and then call the situation that one party is kept in the dark. Moving.
Fu Seoul wrote: “Repeatedly emphasized family difficulties with children and exerted endless pressure on children. From the perspective of modern education, it is definitely not right. Even if I stand upright, I must admit this. It is the wrong way of communication that caused the two generations to misunderstand each other and even resent each other, so this debate is so hot.”