2021-05-21

Silence is the highest level of cultivation of a person

By yqqlm yqqlm
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It is normal to be misunderstood , Is understood to be an accident.

Author:Dong Jian·Ari eating steamed buns

An eminent monk said:

“It is better not to say what others are right and wrong; it is better to say nothing about hypocrisy;

It is better to say nothing; to say nothing without faith, it is better to say nothing.”

Although it is human nature to speak, it is a kind of self-cultivation to shut up.

True wise men know how to talk less and listen more, and keep silent at the right time.

01

  • No explanation is the most reasonable explanation.

A literary friend complained about a piece of his own experience.

In the first two years, because he was tired of his nine-to-five life, he quit his stable job in a state-owned enterprise and went home to work full-time as a new media company.

Although the process is hard and I often stay up late, I am happy to be able to do what I love and achieve results.

It happened that a few neighbors always talked about him from time to time, saying that he was idle, not doing business, and even lost his good iron rice bowl.

In the beginning, he tried to explain to others what freelance is, but after a long time, he simply stopped paying attention.

Library friends said:”Some people just want to live in their own world. Since the explanation is not clear, why bother to say more.”

In life, many people have also experienced this Situation:

When you have a good relationship with the leader in private, some colleagues will say that you are inflamed;

Share the photos of traveling abroad in the circle of friends, and some people think that you are showing off your wealth in disguise;

If you quit your job and go home to start a business, the neighbours rumored that you were having a bad time in a big city…

Many times, the facts are not what we see in front of us, but we can’t argue.

But if the explanation is not clear, it is better to keep silent and keep silent.

Those who really understand you, even if you don’t say a word, can know what you want; people who don’t understand you, even if you talk endlessly, are like a duck.

As Li Ao said:”Sometimes the explanation is unnecessary:​​the enemy does not believe your explanation, and the friend does not need your explanation.”

Everyone has his own The values ​​of sorrow and joy are not interlinked in this world. Being misunderstood is the norm, and being understood is the exception.

Instead of trying to explain yourself to others, it is better to remain silent and let time respond to everything.

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02

  • Don’t argue, it’s the most smart wisdom.

There is a saying in Tao Te Ching:”Believe in words is not beautiful, and good words are not in faith; the good ones don’t argue, the ones who argue are not good.”

Debating is a means of seeking things, and not debating is a kind of wisdom in life.

Those who are truly smart rarely argue with others.

At a banquet, someone gave a Carnegie a Joke, a sentence quoted in this joke, the person said it was quoted from”The Bible“.

When Carnegie heard it, he immediately pointed out that the sentence was from a certain work by Shakespeare.

Who knows The other party immediately denied and insisted that they were correct, so the two Hold your own opinions, arguing endlessly.

In order to verify, Carnegie took this question to ask another friend who is proficient in Shakespeare’s works.

After listening to this friend, he agreed with the man’s point of view.

On the way back, Carnegie asked his friend very puzzled why he should favor the wrong side.

My friend said:”If you argue with him, even if you have the upper hand, the other party will feel resentment for losing face.”

Think about it carefully, and it is true.

On weekdays, we have all had a blushing face with others because of trivial things, and we refused to give in to each other.

If you lose, you will inevitably be angry and resentful; if you win, it will hurt the other party’s self-esteem and lose popular support.

Many times, arguing does not determine the outcome, only losing out.

Franklin once said:”If you always argue, refute, maybe you You can win occasionally, but it is a hollow victory, because then you will never get the favor of the other person.”

The most important thing about getting along with each other is to be comfortable with each other.

For some issues that don’t involve major right and wrong, you might as well keep one eye open.

Even if you lose the truth, but win the feelings, why not do it.

The best way of life in life is to look at your own scenery, walk your own way, and understand the differences of others.

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03

  • No evaluation, it is the top kindness.

I have watched such a video on Zhihu:

A man puts on a high school student’s uniform in the toilet after get off work. Don’t have a pink hairpin, and smile in the mirror.

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Someone came in and bumped into him, saying”Neuropathy” while taking I picked up the phone to take a picture of this scene and posted it online.

The video quickly aroused heated discussion. The man was recognized on the road, yelling at him as a transvestite, and eye-catching.

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However, the truth of the matter is that men’s My younger sister died in a car accident. His mother had forgotten everyone because of the hard hit. She only remembers that her younger sister went to school. What it looked like at that time.

In order to make his mother happy, the man decided to pretend to be his younger sister and make video calls with his mother every day in the voice of his younger sister.

After reading it, I am deeply moved.

In our daily life, we have also easily pointed and commented on other people’s lives because of some incomprehensible things.

However, behind those unthinkable things, what is hidden may be the sadness and embarrassment of others.

Han Han once said:“If you don’t understand, you just shut up, because you never know what others have experienced. If you understand, then you should shut up even more.”

Everyone has his own life, and there is a soft corner in his heart that he wants to protect.

We are not others, we cannot know the path he has traveled, the pain he has suffered, and the unspeakable suffering in our heart.

Your inadvertent comment is likely to become a heart-piercing blade, causing irreparable harm to the other party.

A word of your casual comment may reveal the scars that others have finally healed and become bloody again.

So, never judge a person lightly.

The governor does not speak, knows others but does not comment, it is the kindness that a person should be born with.

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Someone asked on Zhihu:”You are getting What is the reason for silence?”

One of the answers said:

“Sometimes you are misunderstood, but you don’t want to argue;

Sometimes, you are found to be faulty, but Disdain to fight back;
Sometimes, you don’t know, but you just don’t want to say, so you choose silence.”

Many times, silence is not It represents cowardice and compromise, but forbearance and grace.

It means to penetrate the world and to be considerate, to be indifferent to right and wrong but not to argue, to understand life and to be calm.

The ancients once said that eloquence is silver, and silence is gold.

When we have gone through the vicissitudes of life, we will finally understand:

Click a Like, and knowing how to remain silent is the most valuable accomplishment for a person.