The depth of the water is silent, the person is steady and silent
Hemingway has a famous saying:”It takes two years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up.”
Expressing desire is an instinct, but learning to restrain and understand silence is a kind of tolerance. And self-cultivation.
People only understand some things after they have experienced something, and they are past, so there is no need to ask; some people, even if they see it through, don’t have to say it; after they mature, the more stable they are, the more they understand the silence.
01 Don’t ask if it’s happened
“Reader” has an issue of Xu Jinglei and Dong Qing chatted with her grandmother, and when they were in love, Xu Jinglei choked up a few times. It turned out that Xu Jinglei had a deep relationship with her grandma since she was a child. When her grandma passed away, she couldn’t accept it for a while.
Especially Dong Qing asked Xu Jinglei:”Is there any special time that you will feel her?” Xu Jinglei could no longer restrain her emotions, she couldn’t make a sound of tears, and lost control on the spot.
If it were to pursue the effect of the program, Dong Qing could have seized the opportunity to continue to question Xu Jinglei.
But Dong Qing didn’t. She just sat there quietly, waiting for Xu Jinglei to calm down, saying nothing or asking anything.
When Xu Jinglei’s mood stabilized a little, Dong Qing said gently”It’s okay” and then led the show to the next stage.
In life, many people like to break the casserole and ask the end, even if The face of the person being questioned is not so good anymore, they still have to hold on to it.
Compared with this, it is actually a kind of kindness not to ask questions.
Don’t care about what has happened, don’t ask questions about what has already ended, know how to worry about other people’s emotions, and know how to let go.
02 See through, don’t say through
Feng Tang wrote about this in the”Thirty-sixth National Congress”:
Once in Taipei, he went to Tea house drinking tea, tea ownerBag I contracted a tea field in the country. The tea in the tea house is the best tea from the tea field. It is rare for anyone to see it.
A friend who was present at that time happened to be the boss of a tea industry group. He was so precious to tea, and he could see through the boasting of the tea boss at a glance.
But this expert did not rush to argue with the tea boss, but With a smile, sit there quietly tasting tea drinking tea.
It is precisely because of this expert’s See through, but not tell, without destroying. The great enthusiasm for everyone to drink tea together maintained the good atmosphere of a group of harmony at that time.
Being able to see through some things may be a skill; but it is a kind of wisdom to see through without being clear.
Not everyone has this pattern and cultivation.
Sometimes to be merciful, is to stay a line and give others a bitthin face /span>, it is also a state of life not to get yourself into entanglement, to know how to see through without breaking through.
The bigger the pattern, the more leeway you can do when encountering people and getting into trouble.
03 People are stable and don’t speak much
The higher the level of people, the more stable they are.
They know how to restrain their curiosity, they know how to look down on some things, they don’t argue over meaningless things, and they don’t repeatedly sprinkle salt on other people’s wounds.
As people mature, they understand more and more, not to embarrass others, and not to embarrass themselves.
There are some things that you don’t need to ask, you don’t need to ask; in some situations, you don’t need to talk about it even though you see it through.
The more stable a person, the more knowledgeable, the simpler the heart.
May you have a good heart and not embarrass others;
May you be stable and understandSilence is golden.