2021-06-09

A sign of maturity is knowing how to control one’s emotions

By yqqlm yqqlm
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Growth is almost a lifelong issue of a person. We were urgently If you want to grow up, elder teachers often say with earnestness:”How old are you, can you be more mature?” ThenWhat is the sign of maturity?

“Five Signs of One’s Maturity”

What is maturity?

Yu Qiuyu in”Shanju notes ” says:“Mature is a kind of bright but not dazzling brilliance. A mellow and not greasy sound, a kind of calmness that no longer needs to be observant of others, an atmosphere that finally stops complaining to the surroundings, a smile that ignores the noisy, a kind of indifference that has been washed away from the extreme, a kind of unnecessary The thickness of the sound sheet, a height that can be seen far but not steep.”

Perhaps, the true maturity is like this. It’s not ostentatious, and it’s not fission, but With the growth of years and the superposition of experience, it is subtly precipitated and engraved on a person’s body. Then one day, we will suddenly find that we are very different from the past,Whether it is looking at things Angles, the way you treat others, is still the cognition of oneself-I used to be less persistent , I gradually learned to cherish those who used to be squandered, and those who used to hurt myself become insensible…

This sad and gratifying change may be what we call”mature”s things. It’s a bit secretive, but it’s not without a trace.When a person becomes mature, there are some Logo.

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Learn to manage your ownEmotion

It is said that emotional stability is one of the most important abilities of adults. Isn’t it one of the signs of a person’s maturity?

When I was a child, once I was wronged, I would wait for people all over the world to know it, and often tried to use crying as a weapon in exchange for the comfort of others. Growing up, on the contrary, even if you want to cry when you fall, you must first make sure that no one is around.

In the past, the switch of emotion was often not in our own hands:the offense of others made us unhappy, the excellence of others made us jealous, and the neglect of others made us suffer from gains and losses; but now, we learn to be the masters of our own emotions. , No longer freely controlled by others.

Emotion management is to learn to exercise restraint, but also to learn to be relieved, learn not to be disturbed by foreign objects, and not to compare everything.

True mature people know how to remain emotionally stable even when time management fails, and also know how to be emotionally Continue your own life in case of crash, neither venting recklessly, nor blindly They found a balance between”swallowing” and”expressing”.

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about every When I was young, I thought I was different. I felt that the world was at my feet with great vigor. I saw the failure and embarrassment of others, and I believed that it would never happen to me.

When did this belief begin to waver? Maybe it’s when I’ve been fighting night battles again and again but only in exchange for medium grades, maybe when I’m confidently looking for a job but bumping into a wall repeatedly, maybe when I’m doing my best at work but I’m still spinning…

Then, we finally accepted the unacceptable fact:Maybe we can do it all With all my strength, you can only live the most ordinary life.

This is really frustrating, but isn’t this just growth itself? As Zhou Guoping said:“There are three growths in life, one is to find that you are no longer the center of the world Time, the second is when you find that no matter how hard you work, you can’t do anything, and the third is when you accept your ordinary and enjoy the ordinary.”

Accept the ordinary and admit that you are ordinary People do not mean to live a mediocre life, we just use to reduce external expectations To adjust your position in this world in a more valuable way, to treat life with a more peaceful mind, and not to let yourself be engulfed in resentment.

“We have to accept the fact that we are born and ordinary in the lapse of time, in order to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the years in the complex dust.How many magnificent imaginations in life are finally wrapped in the peace and joy of fireworks.

Isn’t that good too?

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No more black and white Look at the problem

put thingsSimply dividing into”right and wrong”,”good and bad”,”like and hate” is the easiest, such a dualityOpposite doesn’t require much of the mind-children often do.

But to see the complexity and diversity in a person Sex, two seemingly opposing points must be present in your mind at the same time, and you must understand that one person It’s much harder to smile when you’re sad and calm when you’re breaking down.

Many times,The world is not black and white , It is complex, and there are many vague and difficult to clarify areas. In addition to awareness and awakening at the level of consciousness, there are also means to solve complex problems by means of compromise and compromise.

This is not only a technique,It is also a broader”Acceptance” and deeper”gentleness”.

That’s why someone said:“A sign of maturity is to discover that you can There are fewer and fewer people to blame. The reason is simple, everyone has their own difficulties, and you don’t necessarily understand their lives.”

But this kind of maturity must It does not mean to give up the principle and bottom line, because maturity cannot slide towards”greasy”, but to Break away from the standard of personalization, peacefully see the diversity of the world, and see the complexity of a person. Only in this way can we not be narrow-minded, and can be richer.

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Know how to take care of yourselfstyle="background-color:FFA900; span>

“Anything humans can commit The biggest mistake is to exchange health for other things outside the body.”

This sentence of Schopenhauer will probably poke the pain points of many modern people. I didn’t sleep at two o’clock in the morning, I didn’t pay attention to adding clothes when it was cold, I was too lazy to go to the hospital when I was sick, I never had regular meals…How many people forget to take care of themselves while busy.

They may feel that they are still young, maybe because of their greed for a while, maybe they have a lot of ambitions and responsibilities…but anyway,A truly mature person will understand that no matter how busy or tired you are, you can’t forget to eat seriously and rest regularly, because this is the most important thing for you in the future. Good responsibility is also the best responsibility to the family.

Life is a long way, and health is the cornerstone , Determines how far you can go.

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Learn to reconcile with yourselfstyle="background-color:FFA900; span>

“You are willing to make one A perfect person or a complete person?”

People always want to be the best, but no one is perfect, even if they have been”rigorous”, they still Some people will be dissatisfied, and in the process of chasing perfection, it is inevitable that they will lose pain.

And the full meaning is:I accept both my good side and Accept the bad side of yourself. In this way, we have reached another realm of life: Make peace with yourself.

Reconciling with yourself means You no longer reject that The imperfect self, stop fighting with another self.

Reconciling with yourself means You no longer talk to whom Explain all, no longer explain everything, no longer need the whole world to understand itself, and return to”I am my standard.”

Reconciling with yourself meansYou don’t always need to prove yourself to others , because no one knows you better than you, you know what you have to do and what you have to bear.

Reconciling with yourself means no longer keen to persuade others, no longer persistent To prove that you are right, even if you have your own opinion on everything, it’s no longer right Express opinions on everything.

Reconciling with yourself means Not to be entangled in the past, not to regret , No regrets.

Maturity is probably established in the process of reconciling with oneself one by one. Then,we can become our ownThe ferryman, self-crossing the sea of ​​life.

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The book”The Road Few People Walk” states:“People can refuse anything, but they must never refuse maturity.”” span>

Since you cannot refuse, since it is the inevitable of life, I only hope that your maturity,“not by custom Grinding away the edges and corners, it becomes sophisticated and practical, but the formation of unique personality, the discovery of true self, spiritual results and harvest.”

Text/CCTV News

Figure/illustrator Ikeda Yoson